Was I wrong ?

Before I started up the computer, I had so much things that I wanted to write here. I had so much things to tell him of why I said what I said. I called him to tell him that rather than go the whole wide world way. I called both numbers but he didn't answer.

I thought he was ignoring me because of the way he ended the conversation earlier. I thought this was it for us. It fired me up. I was more determinded than ever to pour out my feelings and thoughts here.

And then he called back.

All I had wanted to say flew out the window. All I had wanted to explain just vamooshed out to the black hole of my mind. I told him it didn't matter anymore. He was naturally peeved at that statement. Then I tried to explain but I think I made it worse.

So now, I am sitting here, collecting my thoughts. Thinking if I was wrong when I stated what I did.

Consider this.

You have agreed to meet up with your mates even though you are not too excited about the location of the meet up. You mention this to your dearest one the day before and she was non-committal. You called your girl an hour plus before the meet up to say you are definitely going. Your girl was not too happy with your decision but hey, you have made it. But then you decided not to go because your dearest was unhappy.

She insisted that you go anyway because you had wanted to go and made the decision as such. That you're going or not is based on what you want and not what your dearest say or do. So she reacted. So she said that what she said don't matter. That your decision to go or not is based on you.

You were out with your mates late last night so you had a lie in today. You were tired and exhausted and stoned (your word) when you texted her last night. She told you to go home and rest but you still wanted to wait for another friend to go home together. Then you asked her if she wanted him to be charged with the full cab fare home. She's thinking you didn't have to take a cab if you had left earlier when it was not that late. You could still catch a cheaper mode of transport home.

She wanted you to go earlier because she cares about you. She knows that you need to rest and what did you do ? You made it like she forced your hand on leaving. That you made her feel guilty for cutting short your social life. Why ?

And today, you are meeting your mates in less than 2 hours before you called your dearest. Which means you can only spare a few moments with her before you get ready to go. She was up early waiting for her dearest to ring her because, again last night ended on a bad note. She called you once earlier on the chance you might be up but you didn't answer the phone. She left a text for you asking you to call her. She didn't call anymore after that because she knows you had a long day yesterday and it ended badly with her. When you did call, it was to tell her you are meeting up with your mates soon. So she reacted.

She reacted because 1) you were tired due to the late night the day before; 2) you were quite half-hearted when you mention the meet up the day before; 3) you had to work on your friend's video and that she thought today would be a good day to do it since there are less distractions; 4) you mentioned that you disliked going out on Sundays before; 5) you only had a few minutes to spare her because you will be out and about.

Granted that you see your dearest every day during the week so you guess that you can play catch up later or even tomorrow. She knows that you need time for yourself and she's not against that entirely. She just thinks that you need to sort your priorities.

She is not saying that she has to be your first and top most priority. Different situations called for different decisions. She just hope that you make the right decisions and choices. She hope that you realise that whatever she said was for your own good and that it was with your best interests at heart.

Angry she is not. It's just the disappointment that her actions was misconstrued as being too controlling.