If I am not happy, how can I make someone else happy to be with me ? I feel like I bring everyone down with my negativity. My intense dislike of certain behaviour and my constant need to be petted and liked. For me, it's either all or nothing. You're either in or you're out. There is no way I can accept the in between.
Thinking about it, I guess it stemmed partly from the fact that I am the middle child. My eldest sister is favoured by Dad and the youngest by Mom. As a result, I am always fighting for scraps of affection from both. It's only recently when both sisters are married and have started their own family that I am living like an "only child". Hence, I'm having a bit problems of adjusting to my new "environment".
After years of being left to my own devices, suddenly I am smothered with affection, care and concern. It doesn't help that my bf doesn't show as much as I think he should. So there it is. Once in a while I am marked by excessive sensitivity and impulsive mood change. In not so many words. Temperamental.
4 comments:
Juz want to highlight wif u that Mother not pampered me but to u of coz. She always thinks that u are e priorty. True that dad always loves ES. Mother loves u MORE than me.
Trust me, i am the one that in the middle. SAD to say that no ones in e family loves me. =)
hey babe, how are ya. sounds like you are feeling a tad blue...or is this just a passing phase ?
Sis, you are so wrong. It's only recently that Mother showed some attention to me. All along when we were growing up, you were the pampered one. I'm not jealous of the favoured attention. I am glad for it because I am free to be able to handle my choices and make my decisions, be sensible and independent.
Honestly, I think Mother loves us all the same. There is no question of who she loves more. And that is fair. I believe when you have more kids, you will not love another child less than the other. It's just not possible. It's just not the Mother in us.
But thank you, sis. I love you as equally as I love ES.
Hey Fie, thanks for the comment. You have not popped over here for quite a bit. Yes dear, I'm feeling a tad bit depressed about a lot of stuff. Need a bit of time to work it out. Guess someday my knots will untangle.. :S
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