I can't do it. I cannot be a tough bitch on my Dear. It's just not possible. It's not natural. I am a woman who cares and loves too deeply. And that is the whole sad truth of the life as a mad, psychotic, tough as nails wannabe woman. Well, I keep thinking girl, but the thing is, I ceased being a girl the minute I hit the twenties.
So anyways, Dear and I had a bit of talking earlier. Argument ? Discussion ? Rhetorical monologue ?
The main thing is, I wanted to be tough. I wanted Dear to know to shape up or ship out. I wanted me to be less clingy and dependent. I wanted me to find other pursuits to occupy my time. I wanted to not want to demand too much of Dear's time and affections. But.
I can't do it. Tough as nails wannabe woman, deflated the second she hung up the phone. Hearing Dear's sad voice was my own undoing. I still want my Dear. I still desperately want him in my life. So.
What comes of that ? I must be tolerant and patient and kind and all things nice.
I need coffee. I need to be well. I need to want to meet Dear's Ma; objections, reluctance, unhappiness and all.
Dear, call me to arrange for tomorrow's "date" after reading this post.
No comments:
Post a Comment