The visit to the doc was not a good one today. Ma had to go with the insulin jabs because her blood sugar level is still not being well controlled. She can't be put on more tablet drug prescription because her liver enzymes function is still out of whack. So the only answer is for her to get additional insulin through injections.
I feel so hapless and useless because I think all this can be prevented if I had been more vigilant. If I had enforced more on the proper and correct diet. If only I had been a good enough daughter to monitor my Ma's food intake. All the "Ifs" is pointless now because as everyone knows, once you are on insulin jabs, there is no going back.
I wish I had Dear around to run to and to confide in. I wish I had his arms around me to hug me with him telling me that everything will turn out all right. That everything happens for a good reason. That I should be glad that Ma's condition is still not that bad as medications are still available to her.
I'm not a good person. Perhaps that's why all my bad karma affects my family. *sighs*
I'm not feeling too good. Sick in the heart, sick in the stomach, sick in the head. And yet, I try to present a happy facade. Somehow, I know someone has to be the strong one. Why does it always fall on me to be strong one ?
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