Hello, my name is Mopey ...

And I'm not a happy camper.

Dear called earlier in the day yesterday, and I explained to him of my stupid call barring and he laughed. Anyways, we spoke for a short bit while he was at the hospital and then again later while he was waiting for his dad. He told me that someone had come asking his parents of his availability and eligibility ! Goodness ! Was I wrong in my reluctance to let him go home, even though I did not express it to him directly ? Anyways, I cannot tell him not to go, right ? I cannot tell him to ignore his family obligations, right ?

I texted him afterwards in all my koyak English glory. Just as a reminder of who he'd left behind here. I tried to clear my mobile texts for the month of July and I contemplated continuing with August but got side tracked by my winning streak in "Free Cell".

Staring at the computer screen almost the whole day (waiting for Dear to come on MSN), I developed a headache. So after binging on junk food, I slept early without any dinner. A pretty nondescript day in all, my Saturday.

Today.

I woke up at nine plus with a pounding head, slept too long, too much sugar and not enough water the night before, and the stress of not being able to call Dear. So anyways, went about my way, showered and stuff and guess who called while I was showering ? Dear, of course. So I tried calling back and miracle ! I got connected except that Dear did not answer ! Yay ! My call barring had been lifted ! I was so happy and then Dear called back and spoke for less than a minute.

Dear called to say that he had to be at the temple for most of the day until perhaps 3 or 4 pm, my time. We spoke for less than a minute before he had to go. I was elated than sadness overcame me because I thought we could chat for a bit more. So I composed myself and told myself I'll talk to him later.

So I waited for 3 pm to come. I read Saturday's papers. I watched a little tv. I cleaned out my underwear drawer. 3 pm came, finally. Still no phone call from Dear. Perhaps he's online then. So I logged on the computer and MSN and hmmm ... No Dear. Maybe 4 pm then. So I wasted a bit more time playing "Spider Solitaire" and "Free Cell" and updating of my posts.

Time check ? 6.03 pm. No phone call, no Dear online. Pissed and angry and disappointed. Don't make me a promise if you cannot keep to it.

Now, I'm just sad and teary. I hate myself for waiting and anticipating his calls when obviously he's busy with other things.

Right.

I'm gonna sit in my corner and bawl.

Thank you, Dear.