Singapore 1 Japan 2

Not a bad scoreline ! Congratulations to Indra Shahdan for notching another international goal against the Samurais. Looks like we were made minced lion meat by the Samurais. So much for Sushi or Sashimi. But then again, the scoreline says it best ! Congratulations once again ! Way to go Raddy and the Lions !

Solid and dependable is the name of the game for you. You may like all of the perks of a fairytale life, but when it comes right down to it, you'd rather make your own way. You are independent, responsible and have a good head on your shoulders. You know that just because something has been planned in advance doesn't make it less fun.

When your Prince arrives, he'll have to wait until you're good and ready for him! You'll recognise True Love when it shows, but you're not about to sacrifice all the hard work you've put towards your dreams in the meantime.
Don't worry, though. He'll wait. You're worth it!

Guess what ?

My throat is back to its normal self when I woke up this morning. Many thanks to Eileen for her generosity in allowing me to use some of her honey. I made the age old remedy. Warm lemon tea with a squirt of honey. Okay, it wasn't really a squirt of honey, a lot more of honey. The nasties cleared up and hey, I'm back in business. Laaaa-laaa .... lalalala ....

So anyways, it's pouring now. It's only 17 minutes past 4 pm but already it's looking like half past 7. So dark. So scary. Thank goodness Bio class is still ongoing .... Did I tell you that I hear strange noises when I'm alone in the prep room ? Usually it starts after 4 pm. I can usually hear the wooden raised platform of the teacher's bench creaking at times. As though someone is walking about. Someone heavy because usually, the boards don't creak when the teachers walk on them. Sometimes the sound comes from the Chem lab but often times, the Bio lab makes the most noise. Sometimes I would get up and walk to the labs to take a look, usually nothing of any paranormal sort appears. Sometimes I wish I am able to catch one in the act but I'd be too scared to even come back here then. And I'm using way too much sometimes !

My cat, Aboo is a contortionist. He has managed to escape the cage in which he's been kept in on many occasions. It's like you put him in the cage, lock it up and stuff and voila ! Five minutes later he'd be out meowing his little heart's content. Actually part of the cage has corroded and the metal fencing can be moved and my cat being a smarty pants has managed to use this oversight as an escape route. Ingenious ! Now, why didn't I ever come up with something like that ?

My throat's killing me !

It's all scratchy and itchy and all I wanna do is cough my lungs out. Actually there is no phelgm. Yet. Swallowing is gonna be a bitch real soon. Ahhhh .... The joys of upper respiratory problems. I blame it on the stupid haze.

*hack*

*cough*

*hack*

Life is strange indeed. People you meet now might not be the people you can hang out with forever. Take for example the friends I'd made in Poly. What happened to Wah Ying ? And Hidayah for that matter ? We were so tight back in Poly, but when the graduation date came and went, where are they all now ? Granted I acted like a complete bitch just before we went our separate ways but hey, every girl is entitled to her bitchiness, right ?

Okay, the main purpose of this post in not to lament my lack of social etiquette. Rather, I want to say that life is full of unpredictability. And how the people in your life can come and go. That the people whom you barely gave a cursory glance your way could have made such an impact on how your life turns out. I admit, I'm a bit of a herder. In a sense, I rarely make friends outside of the original clique. And that is because of my shyness. Yes, people I am shy. I rarely seek friendship but when I do, I keep them for life. Sad to say, not all of them want me to be in theirs.

If I go to a shrink, I'd probably be told I'd some complex and deep issues to resolve. And no, spilling it all for the whole world to see is not a solution. I need to go deep inside, reach for whatever that dissatisfaction is and take action. Frankly speaking, it's not as easy as deep reflection. First, I need to identify if I really do have "issues". Second, I need to know the source of the "issues". And finally, either be happy with the "issues" or resolve them. I am still in denial.

That being the case, I have nothing more to say. A shout out to these two very special people in my "virtual life", Elaine and Kavitha. You guys rock, thanks for giving me another chance to get to know you. I promise I won't screw up.

I am so exhausted. Mentally I am already home. Enjoying the cool breeze of the aircon in Mother's room and hearing Ayu's chattering. Physically, I'm still at work. Trying my darndest to research my drug assignment while succumbing to the temptation of playing pingu bounce. Damn my indiscipline self !

Okay, guess where I am now ? Yeah outside, specifically in my living room, typing this using my new PC. Which means that I have successfully installed the modem connection and hence surfing on my broadband connection. *YaY* for me ! Anyway, gonna get my MS Office 2000 copy from Azleen. Also, I need to transfer all my files from the old PC to the new one. A number of important documents there. I have to do the transfer via emails. Talk about high technology ! Which means my poor modem has to travel back and forth. But worry not. This weekend, everything will be functional in my lil' lilac room !

Yes, I bitch. And yes, I complain about the situation I accost myself in. And yet, I am still here. Doing whatever I've been doing for the past two and a half years. Am I wasting my time ? At the end of this, is it all for nothing ? Where is the value ? What happened to the love ?

"Most probably dead tissue. Don't worry, any foreign particles will be expelled out eventually. Take for example road traffic accidents survivors. Not possible to remove small pieces of glass from every part of the body."

And here I am thinking, that's because you guys, doctors, don't know where each minute piece of glass is, right ? In my case, I know where it is. Like, duh ! So there you have it, once again my concerns over my hand has been dismissed. And maybe, guess what ? Two weeks from now, another glass shard may emerged and then I can go back and say, "I told you so !"

As always, Pharmaco was s*** ! I closed my eyes a couple of times and it felt good. Her voice drowsing half the class, anyway. We couldn't wait for the clock to strike 10 ! Sheesh .... Where do they find these people ? Oh, one more thing, she made a boo-boo last night. Mixed up the pH values of acids and bases. Her credibility slipped another rung, mans. Come on, if you are teaching Chemistry based subjects, no way in heaven (hell ?) could you ever, ever confuse the pH of acids and bases. It's like ingrained into a Chemistry student's life. Well, at least the serious ones. It's like the air we breathe. Acids have pH below 7, 7 being neutral and bases have pH above 7. Easy, peasy. No way, no how you can ever confuse those two. Okay, I'm rambling now. Will shut up now.

My new PC !!!! *drools*

Almost took an MC today to do a little bit of exploration of the gorgeous machine. My printer rocks !!!!! So does my speakers !!! Arrrgghhhh ..... I want to go home now and sit in front of it. Even to just play a game or two or watch a movie or two. I need to install MS Office and my external modem connection. No matter, I think it will keep me entertained for a while. *winks*

People might think I'm making this up. Trying to get a little more attention over my plight. But I seriously think this is the real thing.

Remember the hand wound I mentioned a few weeks ago ? Well, I think there might be one or two more glass fragments embedded in my flesh. How did I know this ? Well, there is this bump in the middle of the healed wound (cut ?). People told me not to worry, it could just be a piece of necrotic tissue, since the trauma was pretty deep. But why does it ache everytime I poked it in a little deeper ? And when I press the surrounding tissue, why is there a sharp pain registered to my nerve centre ? Really. I am so not making this up. Gonna have to have the bugger x-rayed just to make sure everything's okay. Damn .... Health wise, this might not be such a good year for me. Way too many scares !

I have Pharmacology tonight. Just thinking about what had transpired previously caused me to break into periodic yawns. And Kavitha's on the night shift today. No kaki !!! :O(

No matter, I shall persevere. Must not let Kavitha down in the note taking department ! About the above, I know I am such a baby. But well, I R E A L L Y am not making this hoo-ha up. Swear.

One more day.

Yes, finally the week has arrived. The anticipated day is just O - N - E day away ! Mans .... I love getting new things. I really do ! It's like an advanced birthday present. From me to me ! Sounds weird, right ? Can anyone name me a person who doesn't like/love receiving gifts ? Or at least something new and quite possibily different ?

My new PC's coming tomorrow !!! With my new printer !!! And my new computer table will turn up on Wednesday ! Exciting times ahead !

I have Forensic Chemistry class tonight. Although I felt that I shouldn't bother turning up, my conscience would berate me for wasting precious resources. Like time. And money. I've read the text and the notes and figured, this is definitely something I would give my best in. I'm having positive vibes but then again the brightness dimmed slightly when I remember how boring the local counsellor was. Yes, the same boring, read-word-for-word-from-the-slides cousellor for Pharmacology. Tell me, why do they put in the most boring teachers for the most interesting modules ? Is it because they figured that since the modules are already interesting enough, it is okay to have a slightly boring counsellor/lecturer/teacher ? It's not fair ! They should make these modules even more interesting, right ? So as to sustain the interest level !
So anyway, I will go and hope that the class would end slightly early .... American Idol is on tonight. I hope Leah LaBelle gets the boot !

I'd just realised something as I was getting ready for work. My left boob is bigger than my right boob. Granted it's not noticeable when I'm fully clothed, but it was a glaring imperfection when I am partially dressed. How it escaped my noticed for so long, I just don't know. Oh wells .... Just another notch on my imperfect body.

When the Dracula's out, the humans come out and play. Who I mean by Dracula is my boss and who I mean by humans ... oh you should know .... us minions, of course ! So here I am typing away in broad daylight. In the general office, with Chow .... the not-much-time-left guy commenting on every single word. No harm done though. Because my thoughts are still mine.

This has got to be the most boring day of this week. Why is it that when you have a lot of things to do, you prayed for the clock to strike 5, so that you can pack up and go ? And when you don't have things to do, you do exactly the same thing ? Humans, are strange. Never will be satisfied !
So I'd finished the registration of the A, O and N levels exams for the kids here. This year it took us the whole of 2 days to cover the bulk of the kids here. All with dearest Eileen's help. She's one hell of a fast worker. Will definitely miss her when she takes her leave. [sad face inserted] With Chow all but gone, my buddies aren't around anymore. For lunch breaks, popups messages and stuff ! Mans, I'd be back to when I started, won't I ? Self appointed recluse in the "bomb-shelter". Hope it won't be for long though.

Earlier today, I saw a job advertisement, looking for Animal Technician. Will be working in a lab in the newly built Biopolis but there is an added incentive to it. Training will be provided in the UK. For 3 months ! How exciting ! Will definitely give it a try. No harm, right ? Urrmmm ..... unless of course one of my bosses managed to stumble to this blog page. Naaaaahhh ..... highly unlikely .... *winks*

Hey sorry for the major absences. I've been super, super busy with real life. Seems like my virtual life has taken a tumble. Not that I am not sad. Anyway, I've finally bought me a new computer ! And printer ! Finally, finally, I'd settled this major headache of mine. Thanks to Sha and Fie. Sha for helping me narrow down my choices (anyway, there wasn't much coz of budget contraints.... *winks*) and Fie for accompanying me to actually "buy" the PC even though she hated crowds. And major crowds it was on Sunday at Suntec's IT Fair 2004. I feel good. Annnnnd I spent quite a bit on getting my textbooks. So basically the last few days has been one huge spending spree for me. I got me a new digital watch (even though my new watch is working perfectly fine !) and a new red haversack. I have never had a red bag before. I love my new stuff !!! And yeah, I can't wait for my new PC to finally find it's resting place in my lilac coloured room. Which reminds me, I need to spend for one last time for a new computer table. Preferably wood and laquer finishing. Anybody know any deals ??? I might go to Ikea, or Novena, not forgetting the furniture mall. So exciting !!!

This is the comparative study of the size of the glass which was in my flesh for two whole weeks. Huge, innit ?

So well, then.

Last night's class was a downer. "Bloody boring !" is an understatement. The subject was so dry that I can hear it snapped into two an hour into the tutorial. How will I survive the rest of the semester ?

She Makes My Day ~ Robert Palmer

I feel so lucky loving her, tell me, what else is magic for?
She thinks it's better left unsaid
She makes her mind up at a glance, it really made a difference
I seem to be unconditionally hers
She's like a new girl every day, and all the rest don't bother me
I'm far too busy loving her

I'll never be lonely now I know her...(She trusts her intuition)
(That's in our best interest)
She fills my heart with joy...she makes my day
She just has to smile to blow my cares away...(We make a definition)
(She acts in my defense)
She just has to touch my hand to make me stay

She's all good loving at once, she's all good loving at once
She's all good loving at once, she's all good loving at once

Our love was unintentional, she says we're not responsible
She thinks with her chin up
She always makes uncommon sense, always knows just what to say
She always takes me unawares
In less time than it takes to fall, I'm here and there you are
We never fought it anyway

I'll never be lonely now I know her...(She trusts her intuition)
(That's in our best interest)
She fills my heart with joy...she makes my day
She just has to smile to blow my cares away...(We make a definition)
(She acts in my defense)
She just has to touch my hand to make me stay

I feel so lucky loving her, tell me, what else is magic for?
She thinks it's better left unsaid
She makes her mind up at a glance, it really made a difference
I seem to be unconditionally hers
She's like a new girl every day, and all the rest don't bother me
I'm far too busy loving her

I'll never be lonely now I know her...(She trusts her intuition)
(That's in our best interest)
She fills my heart with joy...she makes my day
She just has to smile to blow my cares away...(We make a definition)
(She acts in my defense)
She just has to touch my hand to make me stay

She's all good loving at once, she's all good loving at once...

The ignorant hand story

I am going to write about my hand.
I am going to write about how ignorant I was.
Ignorant, how ?
Well, for the past 2 weeks I'd suffered.
Or rather my right hand suffered.
Exactly 2 weeks ago to this date, I cut my hand while preparing the materials for a practical session.
Flesh wound with loads of blood poring out.
Had it it cleaned and bandaged.
Had a doctor see to the wound.
"Looks clean, no pus", said the good doctor.
"I'll give you some washing solution and cream to apply on the cut. The glass was clean ? Not from the ground ? Okay, not compulsory to have a tetanus shot."
I paid and was off on my merry way.
Tissue around the wound was bruised.
Tender to touch.
One week.
Still not healed.
Even had my blood glucose checked, normal level was the outcome.
So what was wrong ?
Finally yesterday, had a good look at the wound.
Saw something which looked out of the ordinary.
Glass shard !
Took it out and I almost fainted.
Now, the wound is healing nicely.
I hoped.

I would like to think that the weather changes are subjected to my whims and fancies. But that would be arrogant and blasphemous. Not to mention idiotic. But I really can't help but ponder that these past few days (week ?) that I'm feeling as though I am at my lowest point, the weather has been kind enough to accomodate my "distress". I hope to get over this soon but well, the cloud is passing pretty slowly. Where did all this misery began ? Same question as when did life began. Some questions have all the answers pat and ready, others take a number of questing years. And the minute rest ? Unanswerable. I'd like to hope that my life is one huge unanswered question. But that is just flattery. I am nothing but an open book. Not quite right, some of my acquaintance would retort. I am anything but an open book. I'd like to think that my thoughts are as deep as the Pacific. But many a times I've been put to the ground by the shallowness of my thinking. Why does everything I do completely out of sync with all the things I thought I could do ? Again. The quest begins. When will it end ? When we are old and grey ? Or when we breathe our last ? Or has it not even begun at all ? Or just something we thought we had to do ? Maybe out of self recognition ? Or pity ? The answer is how you want it answered.

What am I doing here ?

This question and more has been wrecking havoc in my mind. And with so much time to kill, this has left me in the quest for answers. I am scared of what "solutions" I can finally come up with. My life is such that hopes and ideals galore but with little results. I don't know if I can make it through what I'd chosen. Sometimes I wonder why am I so stubborn. Why do I insist on following through with something that might not work. I just know that I don't want to be a quitter (or shirker in the words of my Sec 4 English teacher). I don't want to disappoint even if that might mean I am unhappy. I am swimming in too much self pity.

Time to stand back and distance myself away from me. I need to look at me from outside me. I need a new lease of hope and inspiration. I need something new to distract me for a while. Remind me to get new batteries for my sister's old virtual pet.

Uncertainty

I have this unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like as if I'd forgotten to do something important and for the life of me, I can't recall whatever it is I was supposed to do. There is although a little bit of excitement as though I am anticipating something wonderful (?) to happen. I tried to brush aside this antsy feeling but somehow it had made itself comfortable and immovable like the lead dead weight it is. There is a twinge of guilt strung along this whole thing.

I feel oppressed, yet I am not.
I feel gaiety, yet I am down.
I feel evilness, yet goodness overwhelms everything.
I feel love, yet I am without.

I am seriously hormonal.

I forgot my mobile today. However, that does not stop me from meeting up with Fie and Sha for dinner later. I want to prove to myself that my mobile is NOT my entire life. That without it, my day is ruined and that everything cease to function. As you can see, the time is after 6. Which means that I am still at work typing away the natterings of my "exciting" life. I am not want of a life.

*arghhhh*

My muse is missing. I cannot write. Mental block. Mental block. Okay shall stop wasting everybody's time. Hopefully I'll come back tomorrow unscathed !

What are the signs of dehydration ? Is it queasy tummy ? Headaches that come and go ? Feeling nauseated all the time ? If those are, then I am dehydrated. If otherwise, then what am I suffering from ? Delusional tendencies ? Stress related incidences ? What ?

Shed a light for the poor miserable fool.
For she has naught too many acquaintances.
Acceptance of hypochondriasis.
Irrational thoughts of one's own mortality.
Cometh head shrink !

To love is to sacrifice.

Why is it that when I'm at home, wonderful, precious thoughts go whizzing in my mind every few seconds. But when I actually sit down to record it, nothin gof value ever appears ? Strange as it may seem, I fancy myself a good writer. Albeit in my thoughts. So many descriptive words flying around my brain but when it comes to the crunch, I'd come up with crap like this. Like this. Like this.

Just a piece of update, my plans for a London holiday has been shelved until further notice. Hey you, [person's name] I know you were expecting my visit, I'm really sorry to bail out. I'm dealing with some family things at the moment and I really can't get away, even for a week. I hope that things would turn around soon and I'll keep you posted. Really, really sorry.

Speaking of family, why is it that youngsters never heed elders' advices ? I am pissed and disappointed by the show of "maturity" of [family member in question]. And it has reached the point where I really can't be bothered anymore. I wash my hands off of the situation. I don't know if you might read this, but let me just say it anyway, you do whatever you see fit, since you "believe" that you can make your own decisions. And that you have the ability to differentiate right from wrong. I don't care. Whatever happens, don't even bother to find out how I am. Truth be told, I'd considered you to not exist in my life anymore. Don't try to contact me via whatever means. SMS or email, it'd all be in vain. I won't send a word back. If this is how you want to play this game, I'd stated my "rules" and you chose NOT to abide then, I have nothing more to say.

Live your life as you want to. Everyone be damned.