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Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Checklist time

Are you an accidental flirt? Ten ways you can unwittingly lead a man on

Men often believe you're flirting with them even when you're not. Here, Mark Mason explains the ten ways you can unknowingly send out the wrong signal

1. Putting one more kiss at the end of an email than he did. Women are naturally friendly - if flirting is a mountain, they're always walking in the lower foothills. But men want to get to the peak as soon as possible. Your extra 'x' was done without thinking. He assumes you're starting an auction of kisses that will end up with the two of you in bed.

2. Saying you like his shirt. The average man doesn't notice clothes - if you notice his, he'll think it's because you want to see them on your bedroom floor.

3. Asking questions about his girlfriend. You're just being nosy about his love life. He thinks you want a walk-on part in it.

4. Talking about your own relationship problems. You find it easy to discuss these things. Men don't, so he'll imagine that you're auditioning replacements for your boyfriend.

5. Approaching him at a party. Men see starting a conversation as the first stage of seduction. They can't understand why you'd do it just to be friendly.

6. Touching his arm as you talk. Women are more tactile than men - they forget that testosterone can be brought to the boil by the merest brush of a female hand.

7. Teasing him. You're doing it simply because you can, and it amuses you. He sees it as an early phase of the mating ritual.

8. Ignoring a call on your mobile when you're with him. You hit 'divert' because it's your boss and you don't want to talk to her - but the man's ego tells him you're captivated by his witty conversation.

9. Re-applying your make-up. A fresh coat of lip-gloss makes you feel good about yourself. He thinks it's being done to attract him.

10. Dancing with him. It's an Abba record - you'd dance with the nearest hat-stand - but your partner in boogie assumes that you want his body.

Of course, all these are things you might do if you are really flirting. But even if you're not, don't worry too much - wouldn't life be boring if you couldn't laugh at men?


From Understanding Men @ ivillage

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