I have the tendency to gush whenever somebody does something nice for me. For those of you who hates any sort of gushiness (yes, there is such a word. If don't believe click here to find it), please don't read on the next paragraph. For those who hates it but still wishes to do so, you're 'da man'. Emotions are good for you.

Anyway here it goes. Shaheeda. Sweet girl that she is, got me a birthday gift (yeah, I know belated, still the thought counts). Nothing special, right? W R O N G !
It was made all the more special because she's still in school and not earning an income. I never expected her to get me anything anyway. Just her SMS made it all okay (that is why I always lie about my true birthdate. I feel "paiseh" in receiving gifts !!). Anyway, I met her yesterday to pass her resume I'd printed out. In the bus on the way to out meeting place, Sha text to ask who is my favourite Manchester United player. My absolute, ultimate favourite. Gosh, I couldn't decide but I settled on Becks. She asked why, I said he's a good ball player. So then I asked her why is she asking all these questions. She said poll, I thought, okay no matter, I hoped my answer had helped. When she arrived I handed her things and she pulled out something from her bag. A Man U plastic bag....present for me...*awwwww* The bag contained an official Man U snow hat and a no. 7 water bottle.....And I know how much she hated Becks......
*awwwwww, Becks* So sweet of her......

Anyway, might do something nice for her in return.
*grins*

Why did you build me up,
Buttercup baby,
Just to let me down.
And mess me around,
You never call baby,
When you say you will...

Meet me half way
Across the sky
Up where the world
Belongs to only you and I...

Come on hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This road I've been given
I sit and talk to God
But he just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I just don't understand...

So I celebrated my birthday for the 22nd time. Each year you get older, you get bolder (or balder, depends), and weirder. Yeah don't forget the weird bit. So on the fateful day, I usher in my b-day in a club. Or disco, whatever. Bar None. Ermm...that's the name of the club/disco/whatever. Ha-ha...A first timer. It's a wonder I survived. Actually there was this one tiny incident, which made me realise I want my "innocence" back ! One who never been in these places might be expecting some things. Not me. I never made any "jumping to conclusions" without being physically there to "jump into" (hmm...weird sentence structure).

My first thought, blardy smoky. I hate cigarette smoke and to totally be in the womb of smoke, my goodness...I feel as though my lungs has expired ! Now I wonder no more how shortness of breath feels like. The next thing that hits me; flashing lights. Neon lights are a bit** ! Green, pink, yellow, white, blue....alternating, spinning, me swooning. If my stomach is any weaker, I could have barfed ! I like the music though. I guess that's the saving grace of a club/disco/whatever. People gyrating to the beat of the bass. Snuggle, cuddle, hug. Man, woman, trannie, cats, dogs (oops...got carried away...). A place of sin ? A place of release ? A place of pleasure ? A place of danger ? Who am I to judge ? Been there once, stayed for no longer than an hour, how can I judge ?

I don't do party. Give me my "Pride & Prejudice" and an isolation booth anytime. Get out of my face and stay out of my hair.

I live well alone.

Ummm...I don't know how to say this. It might sound silly and egoistical.

So I will go right out and say it.

I've got this sneaky feeling that the security guard in my school is seriously making a pass at me.
Don't laugh.....
What started out as harmless "flirtations" is now becoming serious "affairs". Hmmm...maybe this morning my imagination is on high alert ??? Okay I will start from the very beginning.

When we got this guard to roam the school premises, he was really excellent with the delinquents (many, many...in my school). He was strict with them and they all feared him, to a certain extent. (If you know my school, we have some very weird/strange security officers before, you would be glad for the arrival of this fella) Anyway, when the school closed for the Nov/Dec period, I worked at the admin side. Had to work every alternate Sat, and before long, with no one else to talk to, the guard got pretty friendly with us. And so every other Sat I had to work he always tell me to go off earlier than usual to go 'pak-tor' (means, dating). It was in a joking manner. Then somehow, it got to be me and him going to 'pak-tor'. It was just that, kinda like "secretive" meetings but not so clandestine.
Somehow in Feb, he stopped working in the school. And that was that.
Now he's back and with a vengeance...!
Yesterday I had to stay in later because of the extra pract class. And I think I was the only one left except for my boss and a weird teacher (shall not name names). So he had no one to talk to ( the cleaners, maybe) and he came to my lab. It was all innocent, him talking about how he caught some students. Me listening and trying hard to understand what he's trying to say (he speaks funny, you see. Very, very broken sentences). He came by the lab a few times. Use the phone, talk to me...At times he brought up that we should go 'pak-tor', then I told him that I heard that he's married, he denied it (of course), blah...blah...I just laughed, that's all...
Then just before I went off yesterday evening, I met him at the exit. He said that if nothing happens we could go off early tomorrow (today) and sign papers. I was wondering what was he trying to put across when it suddenly dawned on me. "Marriage". Earlier he did ask if I had someone and I said no (stupid, stupid, shoulda said I'm married with a kid) ! I was still surprised that I just laugh as I walk to the bus stop.
Today he was insistent in his "proposal". Said he will talk to my mother and convince her to let me "marry" him even after I said my mother would vehmently forbade it...
*sighs*

Seriously, I'm tired of this joke.

So I've done it again. Purple just got too oppressive. So here's green....

Like it....????

All the pretty pictures are gone,
And in its place,
Ensconces one sick kitty.
"Kitty, kitty, come to me."
And kitty refused.
"Kitty, kitty, come to mummy."
Still kitty remained.
Then you realised,
Kitty is just another pretty picture.



Thank you, blogjam for the picture.

Did someone say stupid people do stupid things ??? So why are you reading still ???

Mypostisblindingthepeoplewhoarereadingthis.
Isthisfair?
AtleastIdidhelpoutwiththepunctuationbitsothatyouguysknowwhereandwheneachsentenceends.
Liketheonebeforeitgoesonandonandonandon....

Da...

Everyone's left. I'm the only one left still hard at work (as if...well...my bosses are still around if I'm forbidden to sound dramatic). Gotta miss dinner with Samuel, Doanna and Dr Yeo. Supposed to meet at around 7pm somewhere near Funan Centre. Sushi dinner, ogle at Dr Yeo, I mean ummm...not ogle, I wanted to say be boggled by Dr Yeo. Yeah, if you had known him like I know him (which is not saying much because he was one of my favourite lecturers in poly), you'd know what I mean. Can't deny I'm not fascinated by his thoughts and opinions. He did bring a certain oompness in teaching subjects like Genetic Engineering and Environmental Science. Anyway, this is like the second time I have to blow off a dinner "date" with him (and the rest of the guys, of course.*G*). My heart is broken, ummm I mean my pinkie bone is...???

Okay, okay, I'll admit it. I fancy the pants off my ex-lecturer, okay...? Happy ???

Hello....

I'm so sleepy. I'm cold. My bladder's bursting. My fingers froze up. My toes...? Don't talk about them. They are sound asleep. Those bast**ds!

Ummm...gotta go pee...will back.

People at work seems to think that I have a permanent case of the swings. I display that "pissy" expression and doesn't seem to be my usual self. You know, the crazy, exuberance, weird, talkative me. I just keep to myself (holed up in the "bomb shelter", not daring to venture out of my comfort zone) and do my work. Occasionally I'd step outside to make sure that I am not alone in the world. Har...I get that sickening feeling in my gut that maybe Allah is punishing me for my lack of faith. So occasionally, I get this sudden bursts of insecurities. Satan...stay away from my thoughts and actions. Tell your minions not to distract me, I've got enough on my plate already ! Maybe it's not a punishment (note to self : Allah is all forgiving), just a "test". So I failed. *puts up right hand* Got sup paper or not ???

So the war in Iraq is over (unofficially), what's next ? Earth is suffocated to the extent that it has to do some cleansing. Survival of the fittest. Wipe out the weaker ones so that there is more space for the rest to survive. Sounds cruel ? That's nature for you.

I've got itchy fingers now.....*scratch* *scratch*

Considering changing my blog face.....

Which Spice Girl Are You?

Umm...at least I get to be "married" to David Beckham and have his kids....:P

A Thousand Miles


I'm lost...???

Something is terminally wrong with my blog page. When I type in this, I get the page with a blue cup labelled "Tips". But when I type this, everything seems fine. The first one is without triple W. I've asked my colleagues to check and they get the same thing. Is it just the work computers or is something seriously wrong with the URL ???

I've been to H and Claire website. Been reading the message board. It's warped the way the postings pledged total love and devotion to the duo. Yes, they will be on a 6 months break. Yes, they were formerly from the successful pop group, Steps. Yes, they did released 3 singles and album. And yes, the success of the discography was moderate. Talks were rife 2 months ago, when they went silent after the release of the album, Another You Another Me. That they have been dropped by their record company for under performing. Define that phrase.

Now with the break, again speculations about them not coming back after the break is setting the message board on fire. At least for a few days. With Lisa (former group member) eminent in the release of her first single, more dissing on the mb. She had a total image change and seemed to want to move away from her past. Hey, when you are famous as one of the fab five, you will still ride that fame. People will still see you as an ex-member of so and so. Unless you are Robbie Williams. Or even comes close to his status. People don't say, "OH, that's a nice song from Robbie Williams from the fomer disbanded group, Take That..." Most of them go, "Robbie Williams, he's so cool. Churning out that kinda music..." My point is that with RW, people no longer mention his background. Goes to show he has proven his credibility as a solo artist.

Maybe it's too soon for these former Steppers to prove their credibility that they can make it on their own or die in obscurity. It's a vicious world. RW left TT and was known as the most notorious member (correct me if I'm wrong). He still is, I believe although you do see that he had mellowed a little somehow. H & Claire, tried to keep part of their Steps roots, it seemed to be working until they release their debut album. Suddenly everyone realised that it is Steps with the absence of the other 3 backing vocals. I guess you would never make it as a solo artist (or duo) if you are the consistent lead singer in your previous group. Take for example Gary Barlow.....The only exception to the rules are the ex-Beatles. They are classic and everybody loves them. Hence they succeeded where other groups failed. And failed they did. Miserably.

Personally, I have never like Lisa. I see her as the weakest link. Not the sort of person who really can't make it on her own without digital technology. But well, it's just me.

And I do like H & Claire's album. NOT as much as Steps' but they'll do, I guess. Until they can hold on to the foothold they've niched in the market, they will still be considered under performing, with or without Claire losing weight (was supposedly asked to by their record company).

To change or not to change (image), that shalt be the question.

When I read other people's blog I'm speechless. Everyone writes so fluently and I feel like I can never measure up to their ability. Some makes me laugh. Others have such witty lines that stays with you for a few days. Never self-absorbed as mine seems to be. I like graphics but in order to have nice ones, I have to have my own server to upload. I am so tempted to get one but I have to consider the time I spent blogging. Will it be worth the effort (hair tearing) and expenses (things, ain't cheap, babe..!) ?

Har...maybe I try to *tumpang other people's server...?

Jer...you hear...?

*tumpang means hitch in Malay

I was supposed to write in here earlier. But I got caught up. By my work. Loads of it...

*big sighs*

Now I've forgotten what is it that I want to write about.

Oh, did you catch the match between Newcastle United and Manchester United ? I didn't but the result was fabulous...*grins*

Reminds me of myself....

Siti's 20th birthday is tomorrow. I don't know what to get her. When I asked what was the thing she wanted as a present, she said, "6100." Take a look at this...


Pretty huh...? Pretty face pack a punch...
Here are the features :

@ Sleek Design
@ Nokia PC Suite 5.011
@ Enhanced Calendar
@ JavaTM Technology2
@ Wallet Feature
@ Tri-Band3
@ Multimedia Messaging Service (MMS)3
@ Colour Display
@ Polyphonic Ringing Tones
@ Dimensions = ~Volume: 60.3 cc ~Weight: 78g ~Length: 102mm ~Width: 44mm (max) ~Thickness: 13.5mm (min) - 17.2mm (max)
@ Power Management Battery: Li-Ion BL-4C 720 mAh Talktime: Up to 2hr- 6hr Standby Time: Up to 150hr - 320hr
@ Certification Information (SAR)

Half of which I don't understand !

Information taken off Nokia website. Click here to read further.

Should still get the phone for her ???

Aaaaahhhh....hate the stupid mundgens at my work place... ! Stupid...stupid people. Last minute changes...No time management and no consideration for others. Stupid asses !

I could be at home this moment, still sleeping or typing away at home using my brand new acquisition. But nooo....some idiotic people had to change their minds at the very last minute. Pissed off is definitely the understatement of the year.....

AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.........

*tears hair out....bangs head on the table, repeatedly*

WOOOHOOO.....

My broadband line is in. Now I'm surfing using my new (very brand new) external modem. It's black, light and compact...! It's a hot new machine...I love it...I love it.....! My hard earned moolah spent on this....Hey webpages...yeah those heavy with graphics....I am ready to take you on. Come on...Unleash you fiercest power....I am not scared of you...! HAR...! I'll take you on, head to head....

Errmmm...just a little note. Be gentle on my computer. She's got low RAM and can only take so much. *coughs*

Really...*in a tiny voice*

Heeeeyyyyy.....is there anyone other than myself who reads this ???? I'm getting dejected. What started out as a collaboration of three slowly branches out to two which eventually became just one. So right at this moment, Fie has one and I have one. I am however still straddling the collaborated feature. Okay I know that some people might have surfed into the site as a by the way. Well good...but seeing that there are no comments for each entry, well...one can't help but think that no one else bothers to read. So do away with the comments link. That's the most logical method to dispel the gloom and doom (or is it the other way round ?). That way you know you write just for yourself.

Oh I think the reason I might not get any attendance to the "wonders" of my "excellent" penning down of my "clever" thoughts to paper is that I'm not writing on paper. That is just it ! I mean if you have a physical diary, some people would die to find out what has been written down. For online diaries...well they are a dime in a dozen. Almost everybody I know maintains a weblog. The keyword being maintains. Which means they write "obsessively" every single farken day. It helps so as not to break the rhythm you have with your "fans". Cutting to the chase, I do believe, it's important to have a nice interface for your online log. Full of graphics, unique, and if possible one that is designed by sa(i)d writer. It must be full of witty language and short. Zero in on the highlights, skim the rest of the excesses. Which some people (me) just don't know how to manipulate.

Bright, shiny, sunny afternoon. May the skies open once more to share with us the richness and joy of its juices. Alhamdullilah!

Thwarted. Once again. Maybe Ralphie and I are just not meant to be. *sighs*

Anyway, I'm off work in another 40 minutes or so. Heading straight home. For some R & R. Another T-shirt spoilt by the farken acid. Arrrgghhh...And people still wonder why I don't dress up to work. What's the point? I'd only be spoiling my best clothes. Today my favourite and bestest T-shirt (a black Giordano top) is bleached by acid droplets. Why didn't you wear a lab coat then? Too troublesome. Need to put on and take off everytime I run to the bathroom or need to be out of the labs. *sian* As a result, almost all of my clothes (pants and T-shirt) are spoilt. I have hol(e)y pants. They look kinda cool especially this khaki coloured. The holes are just below my right knee. And the threads are kinda ruffling out. Really cool looking. Well, to me at least.

I'm on leave the next two days. I really, absolutely need to clean up my room. Especially the area surrounding my computer at home. I think snakes can be hatched from the mass of "jungle". You cannot believe the dust amassed in just a short while. Just one of the downs of living in the top most floor. Whose room's windows are facing the main road. It sucks cause I am not the tidy sort. Most of my junk gets dumped somewhere in the nether regions of my table. It's lucky I'd decided to do away with my bed. Imagine more dust and clutter ! I read in The New Paper Sunday that junk in the house can result in bad fengshui and general health. It can also cause you to gain weight. Har..har...maybe that's why I had never lost any weight since moving to my current room 6 years ago. All the rubbish accumulated like pthalates to your fats !

Okay shall stop this rubbish ramblings. Need to clear my mailbox then it's home sweet home !

Sometimes I think I can strike pretty good deals with the weather. Not sounding too cocky or presumptous, it makes me feel as though I can control the weather. Take for example just now. The sky was overcast but I still went out to get lunch. Along the way, the wind picked up a notch and the clouds started rolling in earnest. Heman asked me (went to get lunch with him), if we can make it back to school before the rain falls. I said yes. And we almost make it. I got my food, so did Heman. Then he received a phone call from Steph asking him to get lunch for her and Chow. When we got theirs, the rain started to fall. A slight drizzle. Heman was worried that I might sicker still (am sick still...) and he decided we better wait. I told him no we should just go. In my heart I was already striking commanding the rain to halt. It did not stop (can't control weather) but it did not get any heavier. The winds slowed down. And we walked, half fast half slow (need to catch my breath) and made it to school not drenched (except with perspiration) ! Only when I got back to my lab did the rain fall down in torrents.

It's now only slightly heavy as I am writing this.

This sounds like a piece of junk of some idiot trying to promote showoff. There are bigger concerns at this moment. But in the long run, my memory might only have space for my personal life. The rest of the world can go forget. Am I an ignorant b**** ?

You come to your own conclusions as I do mine.