Mood most foul

I am trying to sleep early these days. There is little motive for me to be up late on the long weekend because nothing interesting ever happens. I can't catch any of the BPL actions as I'm cableless. My usual fix of weekend football come from the Dear one. And you know where he is.

So there.

I have eventually finished reading American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Hmmm ... It's a pretty hefty book, over 600 pages long but it was an easy read to an extent. However, if I drop the reading after more than 2 days, I need to catch up on the characters. Which I did. Which is why it took me that looooooooooooong to complete the read. I am normally not that w-o-l-s.

So anyways. I was thinking of reading Stardust so that we could watch the recorded movie when Dear comes back but well. The book's at his place and wont as I like to "breaking and entering", I will not do such a thing. Lest his housemates call the cops on me. Or lest Dear has to pay extra for me to hold his keys.

*sighs*

Guess I will have to try to finish The Chronicles of Narnia (Book 1 - 7) then.

I want my BF back !!! I want him back this weekend.

Not a possibility, hence I will sleep early. Man U be damned.

Choices

Have I ever mentioned before that April is my favourite month ? It's the month, many, many years ago that my parents were expecting me to make an appearance.

But now ? April sucks. April is when I get left behind. For at least a week or two, I'd get left behind. It's now two years in a row. Last year, for half a month I was abandoned. This year, it's a week. It hurts more this year because we are a year old now.

I don't like this feeling of abandonment. What's the point of a birthday month when you get left behind by someone dearest to you ?

April sucks. Go away and don't greet me for another year. When I will be left behind again.

:(

Mood: Sad

Discharged

So after 8 days in the hospital, Mother is being released today. Initially the doctor wanted to let her out on Tuesday but Mother was adamant that she gets more bed rest. Hence, rest she did.

Dear had been the champion these whole time Mother was in. He's been with me visiting the whole time she was hospitalised. Thank you, Love. You know you didn't have to do it and yet you did stay by my side. Dislike as you did with the one who shall not be named, you still supported me. Thank you.

Having brought Mother home safely, I needed to pop by Home Nursing Foundation to arrange a nurse to come once every two days to change my Ma's wound dressing. Everything is settled, hopefully.

The nurse will come by tomorrow and I will have to learn to clean and change the dressing as I believe my Elder Sis will be squeamish.

Ah wells. Part time nurse, here I become !

April Fool

And the fool's me.

Foolish and stupid. He's going to leave me this month. For at least a week. :(

Mom's okay but I'm a fool because obviously she's a poor thing. Her being scammed is a poor thing. Then I'm a fool for being scammed by her, no ?

Fool, yeah that's me.

And he said, "More work!"

Idiot, of course, more work for you.

Because you are an effing imbecile. If you had monitored and followed up on the kids who have yet to pay, you would have gotten the list done.

If you are not such a lazy arsed bum, you will collect the payments personally and realised that your 15% of uncollected exam fees were dued to other people's collection.

Lazy arsed bugger !!!

Go and freaking complain to your goonhead's face instead of muttering under your breath. Arseeffingholedeffer ...

Eat shit and die, arseholes !

If things were not so different

It's been coming gradually. The feeling of unease did not dissipate over time. You know the bad feeling you have at the base of your stomach everytime you think something's not right is going to happen. A few things then happened and you think that that's the bad thing and that bad feeling will go away.

But it didn't.

And so the story goes, how my Ma had to be hospitalised again. The same old issue, the same old disease. The same old remedy ?

It's been said time and again that as we age, we become more set in our ways. More than ever, we choose not to listen to what's good and beneficial for us. I admit, I do fall into that category. As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The same streak of obstinance runs in me and my sisters. And the bull-headedness did not just start from my folks. It goes way back to their parents and parents' parents time.

And so.

Although wont as I want to write about my complete year with the Dear one, I must remember that all joy comes with the tears ...

:'(

Bad things happen and bad things happen in threes. I feel like shit every time I think of my act of human kindness (as mentioned by the Dear one). So, another change. Another lifestyle re-consideration for the folks not in the know.

I still feel depressed everytime I am reminded of the stupid texts and calls and emails.

Sorry Dear for being a grumpy pot on some days. I love you, dear heart. Thank you for being there and providing that listening ear and shoulder to cry on. Also for making me laugh and forgetting the unfortunate act even for that short moment in time.

*hugs*