I am sad and disappointed. I had hoped things between us would be back to normal. I would be able to spend more time with him and just be in his company. Doing things or not doing things together. As long as we are together.
And yet. He has to work. Mondays to Saturdays. And sometimes the temptation to work on Sundays.
He said, "Give me two weeks. I'm sure after the move, I will be home on time. More or less. Please Darling. Just give me these two weeks."
And I tried to give him his two weeks. Begrudgingly, I did. In actuality, it was probably less than two weeks before I flew off the handle again. Spending time by myself in the empty house. Waiting for him to arrive so we can have dinner together. Sleeping later than my usual time because I am waiting up for him. Having only 4 hours of sleep everyday just so I can spend a bit more time with him.
It's been two weeks. And yet.
I am still alone now at home by myself. Having come from my place with dinner as Ma is always nice and generous enough to pack for us. And yet.
He is still at work.
I am sad and disappointed. I am fed up with him saying, "I'll try to be early today." And yet.
I do not see him at all still at this time.
Maybe I should pack my stuff and go off. Since I am not understanding nor tolerant of his late evenings, I should go and spend my time with the people who would want me around.
I am sad and disappointed. And yet.
I just need to vent.
:-(
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