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Thursday, September 09, 2004

Am I happy ?

I'm not. I am disenchanted. I feel guilty. I have spurts of anger. I am sad and wistful. Then I feel alone. The all consuming aloneness. I am distrustful of the people surrounding me. What do you want from me ? I know you don't want to take up my offer of friendship. I know you just want to put me down. To snigger and snicker at my disabilities. I am not perfect, so I am the butt of riducule. I hate me. I hate you. Most importantly, your opinions of how I lead my life don't matter. I want to die. Now, I really want to die. I am seriously losing hope in this life. Who are you, masked people ? Why did you torture my sanity so ? Do you or don't you want me in your life ? IF you don't then let's make the cut. Make the severance permanent, once and for all. Since you don't want or have a need for me, then I don't see the need to hang on to this farce of relationships. I hate you. I hate me. I hate you hating me. I hate me hating you.

I'm wide awake at 4 am. Without a friend in sight. Hanging on a hope, but I'm alright. The Carpenters::I Need To Be In Love

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