And he said, "More work!"

Idiot, of course, more work for you.

Because you are an effing imbecile. If you had monitored and followed up on the kids who have yet to pay, you would have gotten the list done.

If you are not such a lazy arsed bum, you will collect the payments personally and realised that your 15% of uncollected exam fees were dued to other people's collection.

Lazy arsed bugger !!!

Go and freaking complain to your goonhead's face instead of muttering under your breath. Arseeffingholedeffer ...

Eat shit and die, arseholes !

If things were not so different

It's been coming gradually. The feeling of unease did not dissipate over time. You know the bad feeling you have at the base of your stomach everytime you think something's not right is going to happen. A few things then happened and you think that that's the bad thing and that bad feeling will go away.

But it didn't.

And so the story goes, how my Ma had to be hospitalised again. The same old issue, the same old disease. The same old remedy ?

It's been said time and again that as we age, we become more set in our ways. More than ever, we choose not to listen to what's good and beneficial for us. I admit, I do fall into that category. As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The same streak of obstinance runs in me and my sisters. And the bull-headedness did not just start from my folks. It goes way back to their parents and parents' parents time.

And so.

Although wont as I want to write about my complete year with the Dear one, I must remember that all joy comes with the tears ...

:'(

Bad things happen and bad things happen in threes. I feel like shit every time I think of my act of human kindness (as mentioned by the Dear one). So, another change. Another lifestyle re-consideration for the folks not in the know.

I still feel depressed everytime I am reminded of the stupid texts and calls and emails.

Sorry Dear for being a grumpy pot on some days. I love you, dear heart. Thank you for being there and providing that listening ear and shoulder to cry on. Also for making me laugh and forgetting the unfortunate act even for that short moment in time.

*hugs*

Bad Blood

"Wealth is like a game of cards. The card that you have dealt represents determinism; the way you play it is free will."

So the key word is to chance it. Believing in things will be better is well and fine if you live an immortal life. However, since our lives are fixed at "X" number of years, you would be better off to get things done, at a faster rate. Taking things slow and easy is for cowards.

Well, everyone.

I am a coward.

Live with it.

*stickstongueout*

That's not right ...

Give me a chance to rant. Give me another opportunity to say things I don't agree with. Then prove to me that what I said is not of importance. I will bow my head in your greatness. I will shit my pants to make sure you are comfortable. I will do anything in my power to preserve the sanctity of your precious good opinions.

I want out.

After the meet up with my old poly mates I realised that my life don't mean shit to anyone else's. True, I have the love of a good and kind man. Is that enough when compared to another person who has the love of a good and kind family with plenty of career opportunities as bragging rights !

So now. I really want an out from my dead end job. It's a thankless and fruitless labour. Maybe I am just a case of misplaced loyalty. *sighs*

Dear God, grant me the strength to see through these trying times. I am forever in your debt for the life I've been given. Thank you.

Shut it ... Shut it, NOW !

It's been a long and tiring day for me today. I had to do a little running around to get some cat biccies. It was all my fault because I should have done the running around a few days ago. But nooooo ... What did I do ? Just vegetate at home, rotting my mind and my teeth.

Hahahah ...

Anyways I have to do a fair bit of running around in the next week, both to ICA and the medical clinic because I "have" to cover for a colleague who's on leave for two freaking weeks. It's not enough that I have to do the application of Student's Passes online, monitor the validity of the Visit Passes, updating of the personal data of the students on the school database system (covering for the imbeciles who didn't complete their simple tasks), updating the class records, on top of the routine re-printing of timetable and assisting all those who appear at the counter, I also have to do the running around for medical appointments for the newly approved Student's Passes for the kids and the completion of formalities which requires me to "pop by" ICA. Which is an understatement because no one "pops by" ICA. They go there and waste hours and hours of their precious time ! Freak !

I have to use my own money to cover mine and the kids transport to and fro school. I have to use my own funds to pay for the cost of the Student's Pass. Freak and double freak !!!

Okay, I am seriously feeling the unjustness of the division of work in the office. Good thing my knight in shining armour had volunteered to help me. Thanks, Dearie ! *muacks*

If say that I need to go on a few days leave, I will be subjected to the Spanish Inquisition from "my Boss". But not for this colleague. It's like claims for Time Off and Annual Leave for some "colleagues" are given by the "Boss" without batting his eyelids. The freak, right ?

So anyways, just heard from the "Boss" that there will be a wage freeze until further notice. It could last until July or even to the end of the year. Ah, freak ! And they called me the slacker. Freak, double and triple freak, yes ?

*fumes*

Six Feet Under

Well, that would be me. Needing to claw the earth to breathe. Spitting out the cotton wool placed in my mouth when the last rites were performed. Having to untie the knots at the top of my head and at the places that kept my limbs in place. Finally climbing out of the grave covered in nothing but clay, earth and a white shroud gone brown.

That would be me once my Ma is done with me.

Guilt, sadness, fear, deep seated everything is inherent in my being. I am NOT a good person. Not as good as everyone wants me to be. Ah.

Manic depressive, thy name is Hel.

Unearthed another tv programme. A few seasons and Emmys too late. Loved the pilot. Enjoyed the second episode. Missed the third. Ah wells.

Such is life, no ?