FW: Bit of the colourful life

Someone told me last night that my entries are getting mushy. Well, I am not denying that observation but I call them emotions. I take feedback constructively and while I am not going to ignore the observation, I am not going to stop injecting a bit of emotion in my entries once in a while. Hey, all these feedback is good, no ? They go to show that someone is reading. Well, better someone than no one, no ?

Putting things in perspective, I’d better cut back some of the emotion just in case even that someone stopped reading all together. Hah !

Two cents bits

I must admit something to you. These past few days work had been less hectic than usual. The general atmosphere in the office had more or less stabilised for me. I just need to pick up on my next project, which is getting right the ISO 9001:2000 updates. Not an easy task considering the numerous changes we are planning. By a certain consensus, the people working on this project had been helpful. Well, one can only hope this can be sustained throughout until the next audit. A major re-audit coming soon in August which is less than 4 months away !

*gasps*

No matter, I believe we will fight the good fight and we will win. If you are not getting me, please stop reading. Hah ! Time to knock off work soon. Will update more later.

Oh, hey, before I forget (shameless plug), April is my birthday month. I will be turning a quarter of a century old. Keep the wishes comin’ coz this old bird ain’t gonna live beyond 40 ! Hah !

In another lifetime

I can still hear the banging of the pots and pans in the kitchen. The sound of metal hitting the formica top made me winced and I tried hard to ignore it and continue my conversation with him. I know who was the one irritated enough to cause me to lose my train of thoughts every 5 seconds. At a loss with my guest, I excused myself and walked to the kitchen. I can see that he was in the midst of preparing dinner, and I realised that I was late coming home. And the icing on the cake was that I already had dinner. With the other guy. The one still sitting in the living room.

I looked at my guy, and back at the almost set dinner table. A single white daisy in a tall vase and an unlit candle decorated the middle. And another thought crossed my mind. It was our anniversary. He then turned around as if sensing my pensiveness, then looked away again. He knew I'd brought somebody home for a little nightcap. But what was worse was the fact that I didn't even bother to call. He just leaned by the stove, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

He then spoke in the softest voice, saying things that made me teared. I just stood there, willing him to stop, hoping that I had the strength to say the words. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. I walked to him, opened my arms wide for a comforting hug. He remained where he was so I tiptoed and pulled down his head. I cradled his head against my bosom and stroked his hair gently. I could feel his tears and it touched me deep. This man loves me, he really does.

You know who you are

I sit here in front of my workstation, alone in the office and I think to myself; what is it I have achieved this past few months ? I am now at a loss more often than not. I wrestle with my many insecurities internally. And when he came along I was happy for a while. I know my moments in the sun will not last, He made me laugh hard but made me cry harder.

Once, many years ago, in my girlhood times, I told people around me I don't need any man to make me feel complete. I know it may sound cliche now but given my history with social ineptness I think I would have been better off sticking to my resolve. Many, many entries ago I did reveal that pain don't become me. Silly childhood fantasies. Silly, silly person I'd become.

Anger, disappointment, uneasiness, self-destructive, elated, blessed, adventurous, loved, despised, humble, adored.

Feelings and emotions I'd gone through these past 11 months since I first laid eyes on you, love.

Trust me.

I think he wants to be free

I was busy yesterday.

I will be busy tomorrow.

I might be busy the day after.

I think he wants to be free.

I think he wants me to be free.

Babe, can we talk about this instinct ?

Observations of an invigilator

Except for the occasional rustling of papers and the creaking of the chairs, the room is quiet. Talking is not allowed, although a hand raised and mouthing, "I need the toilet / washroom / restroom / comfort room," was permitted. This unspoken request is granted to a person at a time with a nod of acknowledgement.

Once in a while, a synchrony of heads would lift to land their peepers on the hands of the clock, strategically placed high up on the front of the room. Their gazes would soon drift towards either the time stated on the whiteboard or back down directly to the booklet in front of them.

Time is of the essence here. Having to answer 170 questions on slightly more than 3 hours is no mean feat. To be exact, 3 hours and 24 minutes. The completion of this would either make or break some of the decisions that the exam taker had arrived at.

Out of the 35 here, will all the hard work and study time pay off for each and every single one of them ? Would today be just a minute part of their lives ? Or would these 3 hours plus be the most life altering period ?

I just hope it's the latter. I may not know any of them, but from the bottom of my heart, GOOD LUCK & BEST WISHES YOU GUYS !!!

Rest with me

I supposed I did sound a bit mad in the previous entry. I'm sure there are a number of you scratching your head wondering what had gotten into me to come up with a super fluff piece. One word, love. So anyhow, let's see which of today's madcap incidences shall be posted ?

A somewhat okay day today. Although I must admit the morning was not that great. I got pissed at my Sup and he in turn spent the better part of the morning giving me the cold shoulder aka space. Yeah, right. So as a peace offering, I volunteered to make a pot of coffee. Who can resist a good cuppa java, especially if it's hazelnut flavoured Vietnamese coffee ? I must pat my back, a good move I made.

When the first flush of caffeine hit the bloodstream, the day was not so bad afterall. I did not get teased much for wearing a girly outfit to office today. Thank goodness for that. I guess I did delivered the mess-with-my-outfit-and-I-will-give-you-a-freaking-hard-time look. I must have perfected the look well because even Ravin didn't comment as much as he usually did. Although Ian did try to rile me up a little. Why is that people think I have a hot date when I wear a girly outfit to work ? Oh, I forgot. I'm usually quite simple in my work attire. Hah. Does that mean I was asking for it ? *shakes head*