Crazy, sexy woman

That's me. Yeap. Even though the Dear thinks I'm one hell of a sexy woman, I still feel like that I'm not up to his standards. Not that he had ever stated any physical attributes his dream companion should have. Not that he dared to tell me to my face. Actually, come to think of that, he dared. Just that he didn't want to deal with my intense, massive mood changes. Hahaha ...

So anyways, as with all sane guys, they need a sane woman by their side. Without the added attachment of crazy mood swings. Which I will be the first one to admit that I come with. Major, loads and positively crazy mood swings.

Take for example, a couple of nights ago. Just before we turn in, we were talking about "the face that launched a thousand ships", Helen of Troy. And the actress who played her in one of the recent movies. I think I said that Helena was such a beautiful, Greek name and Dear agreed. Then I think I mentioned something along the lines that the depicted Helen in pictures or movies are not that pretty. According to the Dear, Diane Kruger, German actress was a classic beauty. And guess who was offended ?

So I just kept quiet and tried to sleep. Dear thought something was amiss when he spoke and I answered with just one word answers. I kept thinking that perhaps his mother was right. I am a bad choice for him. I have to support both parents (not rich), low education (the official records on my work website still indicates I have a Diploma but I got my Degree ages ago), of a different faith (she thinks if we have kids, I will poison their minds against his faith, which is like, "Say, what now?") and I'm not pretty enough (so I have flesh and wear glasses).

That maelstrom of feelings just got me so down that I was so pissed at myself for being so affected. So I cried. Not the wrenching soul tearing kind. Just the silent, tears running down the sides of my eyes kind. Stupid and crazy woman. Yeap. Me.

I refused to talk to Dear about the incident. He still bugs me these days to figure out what happened that night. Perhaps he will know when he reads this post. Perhaps it'll be too far in the past to revisit. Ah wells. Just an indication that women are a mad kind. But men still love us. Non-classic beauties and all.

P/S: For the record, I may not be rich but I'm not destitute either !