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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Ah ... My word

Don't you just wish sometimes it's better to not face tomorrow ? At times I can be quite the pessimist and during those times I wish I was living the life of leisure. Leisure in not having to think who'd be bringing home the paycheck. Whether the amount will be sufficient, and if you can hang on until the next month when it all starts again. Don't we all wish that we were born with that proverbial silver spoon ?

Moments like that usually "attack" me when I'm doing the most mundane things. Like checking my email. My work email. Oh, it's my fault. I could have waited until tomorrow and plunge myself deep in the rigeurs of what we call looking after your rice bowl.

If you had not noticed, I was on leave to ensure I pass and complete my part time course which is beginning to be a drag. My social life is shot dead. My efforts half past. I am just exhausted ! I wish, I don't have to compete paper trail with anyone. Alas ! In a perfect world we don't and this sure ain't a perfect world.

I guess I am not just tired in studies, I am tired of work. Of particularly working in the same place for a sixth of my entirety. Don't you you just wish you can just give it all up ? Give up the creature comforts, the advancement of technology and just herd ? Travel from place to place trying to find people or creatures who may or may not be the same as you. Delightful thoughts I must say.

I have to go out and see the world. I must if I need to keep thoughts of "better be dead than alive" from springing everytime I ran out of my happy pills.

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