Nothing could ever prepare anyone for the fall to earth. So don't ever live your life in the clouds. Yes, being so high up is a bliss but the bang on the ground is no laughing matter.
The point to this all ? Waste not, want not.
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Saturday, February 19, 2005
Sunday, February 13, 2005
"London big shit falling down ..."
Imagine hearing this every single day ? In every room of the house. "London big shit falling down .... London big shit falling down ... (mumble, mumble)"
Would you correct this or laugh out loud in glee ? Or do both ?
The source of this fine muzak ? The precious niece.
Since she started nursery a month and a half ago, all she does is "polish" up her singing capabilities. And the memorising of lyrics ability. A vast improvement from just mumbling and humming and naa-ing.
Good thing I'm such a decent aunt. Else I'd just record this moment and keep it until she is much older to appreciate her finer singing qualities from way back when.
*winks*
Would you correct this or laugh out loud in glee ? Or do both ?
The source of this fine muzak ? The precious niece.
Since she started nursery a month and a half ago, all she does is "polish" up her singing capabilities. And the memorising of lyrics ability. A vast improvement from just mumbling and humming and naa-ing.
Good thing I'm such a decent aunt. Else I'd just record this moment and keep it until she is much older to appreciate her finer singing qualities from way back when.
*winks*
Best of me
Ask me what I think I can do better in my life and I would answer, make my mother happier. I think I am never good enough to be here. Sometimes self doubt overcomes me and I feel like the most useless person ever to walk this space and time. Ask me again why I am not more than me. And I would answer, my best will never be present because I am not brave enough to show to anyone.
The fear, jealousy and anger inherent makes me a very horrible person at times. I feel like I am unlikable. That people show "likeness" because of the code of behaviour as dictates by society.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should not have been too petty. Maybe I could say I'm sorry. Maybe I should not have been too bitchy. Maybe I should have not been educated. Maybe I should just not be out in the open. I can't deal with people but I crave the contact. I want the easy laughs and push off all the negativities. I need people to understand that sometimes I make the demands because I never had a chance to do them. I may behave like a royal bitch sometimes, but I am just venting out. Excuses ? Maybe. Even yes sometimes. I just never got to do things my way before.
So I apologise for the uncalled for insults. Sorry for the cuts my words may have done to you, Fie. I am such a cow, sometimes. I never did think before I shoot my mouth off. I thought you'd accept it good naturedly but I guess I went too far. Surpassed your tolerance level and what do you know ? The conscience almost killed me. So.
Life's too long to make enemies. And to throw away 10 years of good friendship is just plain silly. Stupid even. All I'm asking for is a little courtesy. That once in a while you do remember that we were once friends.
The fear, jealousy and anger inherent makes me a very horrible person at times. I feel like I am unlikable. That people show "likeness" because of the code of behaviour as dictates by society.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should not have been too petty. Maybe I could say I'm sorry. Maybe I should not have been too bitchy. Maybe I should have not been educated. Maybe I should just not be out in the open. I can't deal with people but I crave the contact. I want the easy laughs and push off all the negativities. I need people to understand that sometimes I make the demands because I never had a chance to do them. I may behave like a royal bitch sometimes, but I am just venting out. Excuses ? Maybe. Even yes sometimes. I just never got to do things my way before.
So I apologise for the uncalled for insults. Sorry for the cuts my words may have done to you, Fie. I am such a cow, sometimes. I never did think before I shoot my mouth off. I thought you'd accept it good naturedly but I guess I went too far. Surpassed your tolerance level and what do you know ? The conscience almost killed me. So.
Life's too long to make enemies. And to throw away 10 years of good friendship is just plain silly. Stupid even. All I'm asking for is a little courtesy. That once in a while you do remember that we were once friends.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
The Cobra Event
Finally ! I managed to get my grubby hands on this book. By the same author of The Hot Zone. It had me hooked from the very beginning. Although I must say the description of the ensuing death was pretty graphic. The pathology examination was done in minute detail and my overactive imagination could just see how it was done. As if I was in the same room. *shudders*
The book was so absorbing that I decided not to go in to work just to finish it off. And I did. Now I have to hit the showers. Might consider a walk in town.
The book was so absorbing that I decided not to go in to work just to finish it off. And I did. Now I have to hit the showers. Might consider a walk in town.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Broken
It all started with, "Eh, so how?". It spiraled downwards from there, bitchy and catty barbs and before I know it, I had ended it with, "Have a nice life."
Maybe it had started before then. The cracks in our friendship had already started showing when we couldn't find time to meet for the occasional meals or coffee. So I shouldn't be sad. I should not even be disappointed. After all I am the one with the "massive psych problems" (my words).
So.
No regrets. As a certain Mr Williams had sung. So maybe I am doing this for a reason. Sever ties. Start anew, afresh somewhere.
Har. Being a little dramatic there. But seriously. I don't need pity, I don't need censure. Life is just beginning for me. As I celebrate my second dozen years, let me be me. Free to walk the walk and talk the talk. As a certain someone had mentioned in his blog, friends come and go. And cheers to that, friendships should all be taken with a grain of salt. Until you can eliminate the jealousies, unhappiness and wariness, friends are best left to their own devices.
No emotions, no tangled webs. No guilt, no pain.
No friends.
Maybe it had started before then. The cracks in our friendship had already started showing when we couldn't find time to meet for the occasional meals or coffee. So I shouldn't be sad. I should not even be disappointed. After all I am the one with the "massive psych problems" (my words).
So.
No regrets. As a certain Mr Williams had sung. So maybe I am doing this for a reason. Sever ties. Start anew, afresh somewhere.
Har. Being a little dramatic there. But seriously. I don't need pity, I don't need censure. Life is just beginning for me. As I celebrate my second dozen years, let me be me. Free to walk the walk and talk the talk. As a certain someone had mentioned in his blog, friends come and go. And cheers to that, friendships should all be taken with a grain of salt. Until you can eliminate the jealousies, unhappiness and wariness, friends are best left to their own devices.
No emotions, no tangled webs. No guilt, no pain.
No friends.