It was while I was updating the OS...

Tick tock

Tick tock

Ticking off

Tocking about

Tick Tock

Tick   Tock

Tocking off

Ticking about!  

Being “too” clever..

Just a thought when I was writing my other journal that today is:

The first day

Of the last month

In the twentieth year

Of the 2K.

Clever, yes?

When all is said and done

I think I may have used this same blog title some years back. What the mind does then and now seems to be similar. You go through cycles of up and down and left and right and you would like to think that what you thought then is justified and entitled. Do you? Do you feel that you are justified or entitled and want to push this sense of righteousness around? Lord it over people and say that I am entitled to have this feelings, to say what I can and behave as I do. Do you?

I like to think that I am not like this, that I am more sane than insane, more wise than foolish, more humble than proud. But I am not. I think I am not a good human being if I don't have those flashes of irrationality. My only wish is that I am more than that flashes of "the opposite of rational". I feel sad that I sometimes are more careful with my words for the people I dislike than with the people I love. I have that ego thing to tamp down. To make sure I don't lose face and to assert my right to be, well, right.

I need to believe that my compassion does not mean weakness and that I will be heard whether I speak in a normal tone or in my loud voice. I need to show passivity is a strength. Never a weakness.

Random Mumblings

Positive words reinforces positive feelings.

What is the colour of your thoughts?

Hey

Wow! I forgot that this is still out there. There for reminiscing the times I had to share. I have neglected this so badly. I used to blog all the time. I now write them down in a book. A book I've now kept close to my heart. A book that detailed the last 8 months. Yes, I've started it only recently and I feel like a whole new life had happened.

I got the official papers signed. I've also lost someone close to my heart. A couple of cats said Adios to our family and life is never gonna be the same anymore. So many things have changed and you would like to say that changes are good but if they are why do they cause so much upheavals and uncertainty. Surely that means changes are not always a welcome sight.

I hope I'd visit this sometime. Not wait another 2 years for another update.

Old new things

I am better, in case you are wondering. I am slightly out of that bad space and inching my way out even further. Thank you for thinking the good thoughts for me.

As I sit here, waiting for time to pass, I had a thought. Like my obsession with being "lost". Lose my thoughts in the insignificant. Lose my moment for that 3 seconds in my favourite part of the song. Lose my inhibitions and get things done. It's ongoing and the hangups are so insurmountable. I need to be free of this.

I cannot even write coherently. I guess, that's when I close this post.

What the flamingo

You know, I always try to exude positive vibe when I post on this page. I just feel that when I look back on this day (or other days) in the future, I will be able to feel and understand what I had felt that led me to write the way I did.

I am sad today. Sad for the most part of this week, in fact. It's the last week of school where I work and it should be fun and nice and relaxing with 3 weeks of holidays, the whole place empty of its occupants. And yet I feel sad. I am sad for a number of reasons. I am sad.

I will try to not be so sad but I am sad.